A Day in My Head: Jesus First, Promises Next.

Hi everyone, this is my 3rd series for A Day in My Head. Let’s take a dive in what everyone wants to hear, Promises that are never broken.

Promises that are NEVER BROKEN

We all hear the phrase “Promises are meant to be broken” because of our experiences in relationships, with family or friends. We got disappointed of the promises they gave us that got broken or were never given. How often do you get disappointed of broken promises? Have you stopped believing in promises?

Promises are not really meant to be broken. There is someone who always keeps His promises no matter what! If you want to know, read this until the end.

Seek Him First, Receive His Promises

Matthew 6:33 says “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”

God doesn’t delay His promises, he keeps them. He gives it you if you would practice the art of Seeking Him First.

Some of us prefer to achieve what we want or desire but don’t do anything to achieve it because we are so scared of getting disappointed. For example, you want to feel loved but you are scared to love because you experienced bad reciprocations in your past. Or, you want to get high grades but you are afraid to do well in your studies because you want to keep yourself from getting disappointed with professors who show lack of appreciation.

We all have setbacks with promises but it’s not because of the people who gave us those promises. Our setbacks are because of…

Believing Promises from the Wrong People

We believe the promises from wrong people. People who don’t care if they keep their promises or not. People who just love words but not actions. They are the wrong kind of people to trust promises with.

There is only ONE who claimed to be faithful with His promise and that is Jesus Christ, the Son of the Living God. We have stored up promises from Him that He is willing to give if we obey and seek Him first. Like what it is said in Matthew 6:33.

How to Receive the Promises?

1. Do Everything For His Glory.
1 Corinthians 10:31 says “So whether you eat or drink, do it all for the glory of God.” We have come to know that the purpose of men is to glorify the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. We must do everything all for His glory. It’s an act of our obedience to Him.

2. Have Faith while Seeking Him.
Hebrews 11:6 says “And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.”

We have to have faith because it is the only thing that pleases God. Faith is believing even without seeing. We must believe that God exists and that He will reward those who seek Him so we can obey Him wholeheartedly not just because we are expecting something in return.

3. Persevere, Believe and You Shall Receive.
Hebrews 10:35-36 says “So do not throw away your confidence, it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.”

Persevere in your obedience to God. Continue to obey the Word of God. Believe that whatever you do, as long as it glorifies the Lord, it will be richly rewarded. Believing in God will help you receive His promises!

My Faith gave Me what was Promised

As a personal experience, seeking God really blesses you and gives you what He has promised. I was tested so many times with my faith. God has brought me in different situations where my faith was tested in the furnace. Sometimes I thought His promises were delayed but now I realized His promises were always on time.

I have sought to gain the favor of the Lord so I might receive His promises and share it with others that they may gain the faith to believe and then to receive.

Psalm 84:12 “O Lord Almighty, blessed is the man who trusts in you.”


A Day In My Head: That’s Not Me!

I was scrolling on my news feed when I came across posts about being true to yourself, accepting your flaws and being proud of who you are. One thing came to my mind: Identity Crisis. People often go about wondering who they really are. Tragic is, they find themselves living how others want to see them rather than how they should see themselves.

Say for example a kid who wanted to be a writer but ended up being a soldier because of his or her father. A person who doesn’t drink but gets pressured by peers to do so. A girl who doesn’t like to wear revealing clothes but gets influenced by her friends. Or a lawyer who wants justice but degraded by the people around him.

As I think about it, it scares me to realize what if I was living a life in a way I wasn’t meant to live? What if instead of being this, I should have been that? The tossing and turning of ideas with other people was dragging me away from the perspective of how I should really be living my life.

Looking Through My Eyes

Maybe I had enough of looking into other people’s eyes. I misconceptualized what my identity was because I got too attached to what others will think of me. It makes me speculate my actions and decisions because I am walking on a land with hidden bombs that if I make a wrong step, they’ll explode. Judgements will burst in my face and miscommunications will not be erased.

As I put my eyes back on, I saw myself as vivid as I could imagine. All this time, I was walking blindly. I was allowing other people to guide me when all this time I could guide myself. I was so scared to be different that my own perspectives and ideas were embedded in someone else’s point of view. My voice wasn’t my own but someone else’s. It’s time to see it through my eyes.

Focus on Your Path

Have you felt the same thing as I did? Walking in this realm but not in reality? You thought you were walking with your own shoes but the truth is someone else put that shoes on you?

Take a deep breath and count with me. One, I’m taking these shoes off. Two, I’m grabbing my own. And three, I’m focusing on my own path. Easy right? But yeah no, the world tells you it’s not. The world tells you, “Hey, think about what your parents are gonna say.” or “Oh no! That’s not you.” Guess what, tell the world “That’s Not me!”

It will be a bumpy road once you learn to accept it that it’s not you and the real you is trapped in a cage inside your head. Learn to take the key with courage and let the real you come out!

The Truth Not the Lie

Okay, here’s the catch friends, I’m not telling you to be the bad person inside you. What I’m telling you is to be the person God made you. Now many people mistake being True as being what they had in mind but forget that it isn’t right. All this time, you’re still living in a big L I E. That’s right LIE!

To help you understand your true identity is you gotta have Jesus in your life. Apart from him you won’t understand a thing about who you are! Jesus said he is the way, the truth and the life. Let me stress that out the truth. Jesus, being the truth also knows the truth about you. Why? Because he knew you even before you were born. It says in Jeremiah 1:5 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” He knows you before you were formed! And the best part, He has big plans for you! Jeremiah 29:11 says “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Take The Mask Off

Let’s stop pretending and start believing in Jesus. He will not let you stroll into the wrong path because He loves you! Stop worrying about what other people are saying about you. What matters is how Jesus sees you and defines you! Always be in lined with the truth and never the lie. Fear the Lord rather than men because it is the beginning of Wisdom.

Romans 12:2 Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is- his good, pleasing and perfect will.

I hope you start taking off that mask and wear your genuine smile everyday! God bless!

Tell the world, “That’s Not Me!” -Emmanuelle F. Datu


A Day in My Head: I’m Fine

A More Intimate Post For You

I got an idea on a different attack on my blog by making it more interactive with my readers. I came up with this idea because I love reading too and when I read posts from other bloggers, I love the idea how some try to make you feel what they’re feeling while writing it. So, why not make my posts more like it. The “A Day In My Head” will be a series of thoughts and perspective I have on different issues I see everyday. Hope you find the time to read the series and tell me how you think about it on the comments below. Here’s a premier post for you!

A Day In My Head: I’m Fine

I accidentally met a friend the other day while walking. She smiled and asked me, “How are you? It’s been a long time.” I smiled as real as I can and replied, “I’m fine.”

I went home feeling exhausted. I went to my room and sat in front of my desk. I took out my journal and wrote the numerous thoughts going on in my head. I wrote, I’m Fine with a slight ache in my heart. I have been telling this word over and over again to my friends and family but behind my mind, it was the exact opposite.

* * * * *

Anxiety can sometimes get the best of me. I know I was happy but all of a sudden I feel sad. I can’t explain how it happens. If I open it up, people think I’m crazy. They think I’m immature. They think I just want attention. But what if all I wanted was someone to listen and not someone who judges. It’s not just a feeling of sadness but it’s something different.

How many of you have felt the same? Like people around you are your enemies and only a few people can be your friends. You feel the sadness inside of you even when you try to get the happiness true. I know, I know, you’re not looking for attention, you’re looking for help. A help you can’t voice out because even that can bring judgement upon you. A help they can offer is still a prison cell for you. They take you to doctors, they offer up medicines, they try to cure you like you are the worst disease there is and then people start to walk away from you because they think you’ve lost it.

Hey buddy, you’re not alone. I’ve thought about it and tried to dissect it and yes, I once had it. It started when I lost my mom at the age of 13. It had the toughest months of my life that as young as I was, I see my mother suffering in that hospital bed and it got worst as I witness her until her last breath. I thought I was fine when I returned to school. I tried focusing on my studies and still be happy. I go home but my moods suddenly changes. I was right, I was only faking to be happy. It was hard and what people picture a depress person would do, I almost did. But I was stopped by someone, someone who saved me- Jesus.

The Truth No One Accepts

This is the truth that no one accepts. I know the feeling of searching for peace while you are facing it. I know the struggle of fighting your emotions or trying to hurt yourself to take away the pain. I know the truth in your head that trying to commit suicide wasn’t your way to get attention but it was your only way to take the pain away. And because I know it, I know also who can help you get through it.

Jesus is not just a person you agree with after prayers. He’s not just someone you call to when you are asking for something or not just someone you know the name of. He is your friend. He listens and He knows how to comfort you in your sufferings and celebrate with you in your victories.

Without Him I Would Lose The Battle

The fact that we feel anxious or depress is because we feel hopeless or helpless or feel like the whole world is against us, is the more we need someone who can defend us. Jesus, best superhero there is, is someone who can defend us. Not only that, he can protect us from the negativity that goes on in our head. All you have to do is accept Him and allow Him to guide and comfort you through the pain.

Cast Your Anxiety, Because He Cares

I realized then, as my thoughts battle in my head, there was really someone who cared among the rest. All I had to do was to cast all my anxiety on Him.

I hope you’ll gain the strength to let go and let God. That no matter how painful it is, rejoice comes in the morning.

* * * * * * * *

I stopped writing on my journal. Laid on my bed and then the verse of the Lord passed through my head:

1 Peter 5:7 “Cast all your anxiety on him because cares for you.”

When you feel like drowning, the more you need a lifeguard. -Emmanuelle F. Datu


I Chose To Stay

It is a journey we have failed travelling

I have been a Christian for a long time and I have witnessed both the good and the bad. Before, I came to a point of giving up and never going back. That time, I chose to live life away from church, away from other Christians and I stopped reading the Bible and praying. As I go along, I thought that everything was going well base on what I was witnessing but all this time it was only an illusion. The enemy tried to make me think that I was living a good life away from Jesus Christ when in fact I wasn’t.

You Choose The Path. The Truth Still Follows You

And yes, the truth still followed me everywhere. The truth was, I cannot live apart from Christ. My thoughts were my enemies and my heart wasn’t my friend. I chose to believe a lie. A lie that made me a fool.

I really thought at first it was fine. There was a reason why I chose to backslide but it is something I see now as God’s hardest lesson for me that I thank him I passed.

Each of us have our personal reasons why we chose to backslide or separate ourselves from God. One of the reason I see why people choose to slip away is because of their lack of faith. 2 Peter 3:3-4 says “First of all, you must understand that in the last days scoffers will come, scoffing and following their own evil desires. They will say, ‘Where is this ‘coming’ he promised? Ever since our fathers died, everything goes on as it has since the beginning of creation.'” As said in these verses people in the last days will choose to do evil and start following their evil desires. They even question the coming of Jesus Christ if it is true or not. Their faith is being captivated by their desire but if we read the next verses of 5-7 we can see that we tend to forget how Sovereign the Lord our God is. It says in verses 5-7 of the same chapter, “But we deliberately forget that long ago by God’s word the heavens existed and the earth was formed out of water and by water. By these waters also the world of that time was deluged and destroyed. By the same word the present heavens and earth are reserved for fire, being kept for the day of judgement and destruction of ungodly men.” Clearly it says we forget. We forget how powerful are the words of God that if he says so it shall and will come to pass.

Could it also be that Christians sometimes slide away because their lack of fear of the Lord. It says in Jeremiah 2:19, “‘Your wickedness will punish you; your backsliding will rebuke you. Consider then and realize how evil and bitter it is for you when you forsake the Lord your God and have no awe of me.’declared the Lord, the Lord Almighty.” It is easy for us to usually disobey someone because we are not afraid of them. I have to admit part of the reason I chose to step away is because of it. God reminded me that I should fear Him because fearing him saves me from death.

The Choice of Disobedience is the Choice of Consequence

And because of lacking faith and fear of the Lord, my soul grew faint. We have to be very careful what the heart and mind can tell us. Sometimes it shows you that what you’re doing is fine and alright but actually, you’re heading downtown. It was really foolish of me. I guess all the emotions got the best of me. Sometimes our emotions control us that we forget to see the vivid picture. Our eyes always wear binoculars that keeps us from seeing the bigger picture. And that time, I wore the longest binoculars of my life. At first, all I could see was freedom, pleasure and a false satisfactory. My backslide brought me deeper into the cold state of my life.

Psalm 31:9-10 and Psalm 25:17-18 could describe how I felt. It says in Psalm 31:9-10 “Be merciful to me, O Lord, for I am distress; my eyes grow weak with sorrow, my soul and my body with grief. My life is consumed by anguish and my years by groaning; my strength fails because of my affliction, and my bones grow weak.” I was feeling distressed because I didn’t have peace anymore and I know long before Jesus was my peace.
Psalm 25:17-18 “The troubles of my heart have multiplied; free me from my anguish. Look upon my affliction and my distress and take away all my sins.” Describes the battle within my soul and my spirit. Yes, I understood then it was a mistake because who am I apart from Christ? N O T H I N G.

If Christ has Set you Free, you are Free Indeed!

The time I was ready to go back and face the consequences, God brought me to Galatians 5:13, “You my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love.” That hit me. I am a new creation(According to 2 Corinthians 5:17) so what am I doing sliding away from the Lord? The truth was, I took advantage of my freedom. Clearly, the verse says, do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature. We, as Christians or some of us, must have done this too. We took advantage of our freedom in Christ and decided to do a little swimming in the lake of our sinful nature. It doesn’t work that way.
It is said in Galatians 6:8 “The one who sows to please his sinful nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.” We should not forget who we are serving. He is not just any other King. He is a King of all Kings. We have to get ouselves together and say to ourselves, “You ain’t going back and swim in that lake.”

Be confident in your faith. Hebrews 10:35-36 says “So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.”

We need to do some shaking up whenever we feel tempted to say, “I miss my free life.” Remember, you are really free and the freedom you have now can’t compare to the old freedom which you thought was the real freedom. Take time to always thank the Lord for His Goodness. Remind yourself that “I serve a Loving God.” because despite our imperfections, his love for us endures forever.

Psalm 27:14 “Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.”

Life is hard but it’s not an enough reason to turn away from God -Emmanuelle


NU Skin Overview

Hi ya’ll! Sorry it took me long to post! Here is the new theme I got for my blog. All glory to God. I was given a chance to give a feedback for the NU Skin products. It’s a timely theme for today’s readers because most people are very conscious of their skin, complexion or face. We try our best to find remedies for our blemishes, exfoliating products for our skin, and give our face that young look. During these attempts, some people came to a point of buying cheap beauty products that caused damage to their skin. As a help, I tried NU Skin products to help you find the way to beauty with safety.

As a start, let’s get a little background on NU Skin as a company itself.

Three people were behind the success of NU Skin namely: Blake Roney, Sandie Tilloston and Steve Lund. They “decided to build a company that would combine innovative personal care products with ingredients that subscribed to the philosophy of ‘all the good, none of the bad’ and the generous business opportunity that would attract high-caliber salespeople.” (

For a start, I’ll let you see my transformation from using some Nu Skin products.

My Bare Face

The picture above shows my face before trying the products.

Then I proceeded with their Pure Cleansing Gel which was followed by the use of Lumispa, a device use to cleanse the face. It gives you a relaxing feeling as it massages your face.

Then I tried their epoch Glacial Marine Mud. See the picture below. It can cleanse the deeper pores of your face and remove blackheads and whiteheads. The best part it doesn’t give you an irritating feeling and can be easily removed because it is not a peel off mask.

You will know if the Glacial Marine Mud can be washed off after 10 minutes and if the color changes as shown in the next picture below.

You can also use it overnight while you are sleeping then wash it off the next day.

After the Glacial Marine Mud, I applied ph Balance Mattefying Toner then applied Epoch Blemish Treatment on my pimples which can not only remove pimples but also the dark marks caused by it.

The picture above shows my face after putting on the toner and blemish treatment.

Lastly, I applied Nu Colour Advanced Tinted Moisturizer for the finishing touch. You can apply this before putting make up. The picture is shown below.

I also got a chance to try their toothpaste the Ap24 Whitening Toothpaste. Below is the picture of the result after I used their toothpaste.

The picture on top shows my teeth before then the bottom picture is how my teeth looks like after applying Ap24. You first have to use your finger by putting a little amount of toothpaste on it then spread it on your teeth. Wait for 3 minutes then brush it with a dry toothbrush then gargle.

Before and After the product testing.

This is a picture of the products used on me. Except for the deodorant which I haven’t tried yet.

I recommend you try their product and experience the safe and comfortable beauty treatment you can have.

This post is not by any way sponsored by the Nu Skin Company. They do not have any input in the content of this blog post. The view expressed by the author is the author’s own.

This post does not give any dermatological, medical or other such advice. Please seek a professional if you have concerns.


Yielding to My Calling

Hi my beloved readers! I have another post for ya’ll that I hope you’ll get some inspiration from.

The past two weeks were an amazing journey for me because it showed how faithful my God is to his people, who even runs away from him, draws them back into his presence and the calling for which he has called them. I’m talking about the call to share his gospel. I have delayed this commandment for almost a year or more in my college life. It took a long time before I obeyed the Lord. I felt like I was Jonah in the Bible who ran away from God’s commandment. And what happened to me was like being stuck in the mouth of the big fish. When I decided to finally obey, God opened doors that were close before for me. He showed me that greater blessings come through obedience.
It was in Romans 1:16 that God pushed me beyond my fear to share the gospel. It says, “For I am not ashamed of the gospel because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believers – first for the Jew then to the Gentiles.” Which reminds me every time I read it is, what should I be ashamed of? This gospel has the power to save people’s lives!

And also in Philippians 3:14, which says “I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which Christ has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” Which reminds me of the calling I have.
With all these reminders, I stepped out of fear of sharing the gospel and faced the challenge it has for me. I first contacted some of the students of the courses and sections I was planning to share to. I had them as my coordinators. At first, I thought that it was going to go out wrong because I feel so humiliated in front of God that it took me a long time before yielding to his command.

My first bible study is divided into three groups. I started last July 30, 2018 Monday with some Accountancy students. I consider them as God-given disciple for me. My second group is Tuesday and this is with my classmates. My third day is subdivided into two: Information Technology students and Financial Management students. My first day with Financial Management students was breathtaking for me because 21 students were there. To God be all the glory.
It felt so good in the feeling when I decided to obey rather run away. It wasn’t just an obligation I have shared at church but it was a calling I lived from the start of my life with Jesus. Challenges and Testing came with my mission but it was all part of the testing because I am now holding a difficult task of being accountable to the lives of this students I’m sharing the gospel with.

I urge you friends, with the same calling, to offer your bodies to Christ in obedience because greater is the blessing in obedience than in the disobedience. There is no good thing to run away from the calling of the Lord but better to stay connected with the Lord. We, as Christians and believers are called to share. Read Matthew 28:19-20. And we are called (if you already have your disciples) to watch over them. Read Acts 20:28.

May you experience the goodness of our Lord every day of your life as you obey!

Below are pictures of my first and some of my second week in my Bible Study!

First week:


2nd week

(Banking and Finance and Information technology accordingly)

I had been continuing it and even without photos it is important that God sees it.



Funny how the pain can crawl in my veins easily.
Its hands strangling my peace and stealing my serenity.
How great is its power to destroy my mind?
How it dwells in my thoughts and ruin my life?
All the brighter days has gone away, away into the shadows of pain.
The agony, like a storm, crushing my bones, making me insane.
Is death the cure to my unending agony?
Is death the cure to my insanity?
People has left me questioning my worth.
If I was even worth to remain here on earth.
It’s funny how they laugh when I cry.
It’s ludicrous how they cry if I die.

Wander, wander away to the unknown my restless soul.
Look for the right way to go!
Leave this world, where pain and agony lives.
Leave this world with no blood on the end of your sleeves.
Leave this world where pain is a trend.
A world whose agony is a friend.

Search for the peace that rests not in here.
Because its peace is not really a peace.
For peace takes away pain, and bring joy in pain.
For peace is but a shield, to the aching heart beneath.
Even one faces the greatest hurt like a hurricane,
You cannot be swallowed by the depression pit.

I think the peace that transcends all understanding,
Is from the person whose supply of peace is unending.
I think the source of peace is omnipresent,
So that peace will never leave us absent.

Despite how daring death may seem for me,
As the only way to escape the greatest agony,
There is Only One who can stop me,
And that’s the everlasting love and peace from the Almighty.
As His peace heals my bones and mend my aching heart,
My soul will rest in His loving arms.
Though my feet may fail when fear surrounds me,
His love will never fail, it abounds in me.
His greatest gift is His Son who died for me.
As dark as the world has been in my eyes.
The Lord has given me hope all through my life.
That even in the dark, even when its hard,
His love will always give me a fresh start.

So friends, lean not in your own understanding,
Of how this life is painful and depressing.
Be not afraid of what tomorrow brings,
The world will soon face its ending.
In Christ there is peace for your soul,
As long as you know how to surrender him your soul.


Intertwined by Grace

Hi everyone! Glad to be back. Here’s another story to tell ya’ll. It’s about my unforgettable moment with my two new friends who came to the Philippines all the way from the island of Maui in Hawaii. They have been God’s great blessing to me even for a minimal time that we spent together. Truly, the word of the Lord is forever true in Ecclesiastes 3:11 “He has made everything beautiful in its time.” And beauty it was that my friendship with them begun.
The program that brought them to the Philippines is called I.M. Ready immersion program which stands for International Mobility. Its primary aim is to empower their students through opportunities that gains experiences, expansion of network and creating long lasting relationships outside of the island of Maui.
The names of the students who are under this program are Princess Cainguitan and Sam Peralta. They are from the University of Hawaii Maui College. Princess is taking up hospitality and tourism while Sam is taking up Hawaiian studies. Both of them are Filipinos.

(Princess and Me)

Princess grew up in the Philippines and moved to Hawaii at the age of ten. She practices judo, performs Filipino dances in community events and works at a local restaurant. She is a very enthusiastic girl for me and being friends with her wasn’t a hard thing to do. The way she smiles gives you the sensation of comfort and being friends with her was truly remarkable. I was amaze how she still remembers the Filipino language and speaks it fluently.

(Me and Sam)

Sam on the other hand has never gone to the Philippines yet. It was his first time to come here. He serves as a president of the Filipino student organization at UH Maui College called Kabatak Club. He is active in helping in the community of Maui and worked with nonprofit groups. He is a leader for short. Sam is a jolly person like Princess. He is bold and always hunger to learn especially the Filipino language which I hope he mastered even for a short stay here in the Philippines. I wrote some Filipino words on a piece of paper with English translations and gave it to him on the first day we met.

Meeting these two showed me how God works in each of our lives with a purpose. I was honestly not sure of attending the meeting we had with our Guidance Counselor slash Head of Student Services regarding the student organizations. Sam and Princess were introduced at that meeting (which now I am grateful to have attended). I was also supposed to go somewhere else after the meeting but God allowed me to stay at our office to get a chance to talk with them. See how God can do things unexpectedly!

(Sam, me and Princess)

We were able to bond for a short time but it was always meaningful for me whenever we bumped to each other in the hallways. My last conversation with them was on July 5, 2018 which made me honestly sad. I was surprised how the time seemed long for us while they were still at school and I was able to find out more about them especially about the kind of school system they have at Maui and that they were working students. I shared my personal experience too as a working student at Jollibee to them.

Below is the poem I made for them:


Diversity in culture and race,
We always find our way through the maze.
That even we run in different pace,
We meet by God’s perfect time and place.

It’s amazing how small the world can be.
You were from the other side of the sea,
Where the place you came from is Maui,
From the well known Island of Hawaii.

I have proven that friendship is not hard to make,
As long as you learn to dance with the waves.
That diversity is not a serious case,
To allow friendship be made.

I hope when we meet it won’t be long.
I’ll always pray for you guys to be strong,
In this journey we all have to go along,
Travel it while singing a joyful song.

The differences in our culture weren’t enough to keep us from being friends. I was amazed how God enabled us to build a foundation of friendship through diversity.

Truly, friendships are built not made in a blink. It takes an open heart, an open mind and a heart like Christ to sustain it.

Until next time! I hope my next blog post would be about a bonding time with them soon. Distance is just a measure. I know God will allow us to see each other soon.


13 Reasons Why NOT

This idea was inspired by the Netflix series 13 Reasons Why. A story that opened the eyes of viewers to mental illness awareness. It is a story of a highschool girl named Hannah Baker who committed suicide because of 13 people (well excluding Clay Jensen, who is her love interest and is her secret lover). The life of Hannah went through rough borders of losing friends, losing trust, getting sexually abused, bullied and withheld of attention. It is a common cycle in each of our lives especially to young teens and she just decided to finish it all up by committing suicide. The storyline revolves now on 13 tapes distributed to each person included in it. Hannah recorded it before she committed the suicide. It was a battle of guilt and sorrow between the people behind her death. 

In the season 2 of the series, Mrs. Baker (Hannah’s mother) handed a piece of paper to Clay Jensen consisting of Hannah’s Why Nots. She wrote it before committing suicide as an escape route so she could encourage herself not to do it. She fell short on 11 out of 13. 

As I digged in those names and reasons why she won’t continue the suicide, I felt that it actually boils down to one person – Jesus. He can fill in the emptiness that we feel and the peace that we are longing for.

Below is my own version of 13 Reasons Why NOT and I’m sharing this to you because I want it to help you and I know God is urging me too to write it to you. Take a look, feel free to print it out if you need to pin it on your wall at your room or you need an inspiration at your workplace or maybe just a little of enlightenment when you go on a long drive.  This helped me and I hope it will help you too.

13 Reasons Why NOT by Emmanuelle 
1. I AM FORGIVEN AND FREE OF GUILT IF I CONFESS MY SINS. 1 John 1:9 “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”

2. CHRIST IS MY SOURCE OF COMFORT. 2 Corinthians 1:5 “For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows.”

3. CHRIST CARED ENOUGH TO DIE FOR A FILTY PERSON LIKE ME (I AM LOVED!) John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

4. TRUE PEACE AND JOY IS FOUND IN CHRIST ALONE. Psalms 4:7-8 [referring to God] “You have filled my heart with greater joy than when their grain and new wine abound. I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.”

5. I AM A NEW PERSON BECAUSE OF CHRIST. 1 Corinthians 5:17 “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation, the old has gone, the new has come!”

6. I HAVE TO KEEP FIGHTING. 1 Timothy 6:12 “Fight the good fight of faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses.”

7. I HAVE TO APPRECIATE BOTH THE GOOD AND THE BAD. Ecclesiastes 7:14 “When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad consider: God has made the one as well as the other. Therefore a man cannot discover anything about his future.”

8. EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY. Romans 8:28 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

9. MY WEAKNESS CAN SAVE OTHERS. 1 Corinthians 9:22 “To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some.”

10. GOD PROVIDES A WAY OF ESCAPE FOR ME. 1 Corinthians 10:13 “No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.”

11. I FIND REST IN CHRIST ALONE. Matthew 11:28-30 “Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

12. GOD HOLDS MY FUTURE. I SHOULD STAND FIRM. Jeremiah 29:11 “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'”

13. LOVE WILL KEEP ME ALIVE. 2 Corinthians 13:8a “Love never fails.”


Poem Buddies Poem Collection

Poem Buddies Poems Collection

Angelo A’s collections:

See Me

By Angelo A.

When I look at you

The background fades

And you’re the only figure I see,

But when you look at me

It’s transparency

I’m the background

And the background is me.

It’s hard to be

The only one that sees

And the only eyes received

Is the roll of eyes

Towards the sleeves.

Now I shall admit to you carelessly

That I regret witnessing your beauty.

I regret entertaining your call.

But do you know what I regret most?

I regret looking at you at all.

By Angelo A.

Sometimes I wonder if they know me

I ponder if they know that I exist

Do they hear me talking?

Do they see me looking?

Do they feel me when I’m there?

Do they think of me?

When I think of them

Or do they think that I don’t think that

Their thinking that I, don’t think at all

They don’t see me when I’m rolling

They won’t answer my call

To reach them is just

Like walking through a wall.

By Angelo A.

Looking out a window

Throwing out what I don’t show

Hoping for a throwback

Backing up my final hope

And in my backpack

An overdose of dopamine

To turn those crying into grin

It has really been hard

To bin all those torn pieces apart

Blue is where it all goes again

And Red is where I have to stop

And bring it to an end

Yellow, you’re my savior

You have all my failures

And I’ll get back to you

Because you are Red and Blue
Give me something new

Old ones walk away

I have nothing good to say
Without a choice I pray
Oh whatever out there is listening

Hear me out oh just this day

A lightning bolt, a speeding car

A random terrorist from afar

Anything, to my favorite bar
Do not let me go that far
If I ever get there by luck

That’s when I’ll pull my clock

Tic Toc, Tic Toc, Tic Toc

I’m going back

By Angelo A 

The last seven seconds of my breathing brain

Will contain my memories with her on replay
Those wonderful, windowed moments contagiously colliding

With those unavoidable and very embarrassing flashbacks
Grieviously grasping for more of those insufficient ideologies

Of my past, present, and future strategies
As if I were tree trunks desperately denying their trees

Or kids that really hate candies and crackers
Then, I would rudely remember that I canned confidence

And end those final seconds knowing I never got her

Then I will rest
Doubting, Part 1

By Angelo A

Greetings from down here

 Can you hear all of this fear?

That my body would hear?

Do you remember when you

Called me your dear?

How could you forget?

May I ask you some more?

I know it’s hard to answer 

To a whore

But let me tell you

I won’t ask anything anymore
Why can’t I stick to you?

Why won’t you give me the signs?

Why don’t I have the strength

That I needed to get you

Back to my heart and my mind?

Why did things have to be this way?

How could I be so dumb

And deny that I cried

Or that I was numb?
I thought you could do

Things no one imagined

I know that it happened

But when am I doubting you

And why do I hide

Doubting, Part II.


By Angelo A

Don’t blink

Don’t speak

Don’t even start to think

On your exhale

You’ll start to pale

Happy thoughts will shrink

Echoed dreams

Disastrous dreams

It starts to show its might

The mind’s a gun

That shoots out thoughts

We’re not allowed to fight

You’ll crave for pain

And enjoy shame

Then flesh will start to shout

Your eyes will stream

But built a dam

Won’t let a drop get out
Nothing can compare

To the pleasure

That tears will bear
Nothing can compare

To the pleasure

Of no one being there
Nothing compare

To the pleasure

But no one will care

Take care.

By Angelo A

Dimmed mornings on Sundays I fight

I bow down and ask for your light

Don’t let them out until tonight
Clearly I’m confused and insane

Today of all days they had to unchain

Don’t let me be alone when I’m in vain
Waiting for rain to pour into coincidence

Your sky just mocking me and my confidence

Don’t let the sun set unless I get through this
Fastest solutions I’ve been yearning for

“The knife is out” had always been just a metaphor

Don’t let me close the “silence door”
All the horror I’ll hear when I get to bed

Neither will they let me sleep nor rest my head

Don’t let them take me else I’m dead

Emmanuelle FD’s Poem Collection

Deadly Thoughts

By Emmanuelle FD

I am full of thoughts today,

Of what? I can hardly say.

It grows more and more each day.

I wish it didn’t have to stay.
Throughout my life I’ve always had,

Thoughts never ending, I’m not glad.

It ruins my happiness. I’m sad.

Thoughts are deadly and bad.
I am stuck between do and don’t.

I don’t even get the damn point.

It tells me to do but I know I won’t.

I know I won’t then I do the don’t.
Flee from me the struggle of thought.

Look at the disaster you have brought.

I look aweful and obviously drought.

I don’t know what lesson you’ve taught.

By Emmanuelle FD

You ignore me sometimes,

But I do my best to try,

To try and make you smile,

‘Coz they always make me shy.
You walk alone sometimes,

I can’t catch up on you miles.

Soon this feeling will subside.

I hide the truth so you won’t despise.
You are my friend and only am.

Maybe I should cut the feeling then.

Who knows when you’re feeling’ll show.

I just can’t wait to know.

The Thought of You

By Emmanuelle FD

Throughout the days,

Before a music fades,

Before the sun has set,

Before the moon appears,

Before the fish is in the net,

Before the driver fixes his gear,

Before I go to sleep,

Before I am off in deep,

You run my thoughts everyday.

You make me think of you today.

You make me skip a beat.

You make me jump off my seat.

You look or search from afar.

While I am here, standing not far.

I wish you would realize one day,

How I wish you could stay,

In my life every single day.

I wish you’ll be mine someday.

Wasted Away

By Emmanuelle FD

I lost taste

Of writing poetry.

After the waste

You’ve brought to me.

I feel so down,

All words drowned.

You were my inspiration,

My joy in every situation.

The way you smile,

Has lifted me through miles.

Your eyes showed care,

Giving me warm stares.

Your laughter,

Sweet sound to my ear.

You gave me a reason,

To love every season.

Winter, spring

Summer or fall

Because of you,

I stood tall.

Whenever I look up the sky,

I make the brightest smile
You became oblivious to what my situation is,

Words became meaningless,

My poems are worthless.

You walked away like a stranger,

Though we promised friendship forever.

You left me lost for words,

Now my poems are hidden from the world.


By Emmanuelle FD

I guess I have to say,

This word that held me,

That kept me silent all day,

It made me foresee,

That this world is almost,

Near to rot. How dread my bones,

I feel scared to think of it.

How God is preparing to destroy it.

How I can foresee the events.

They are not pretty to the sense.

It is possible the end is near.

Be guarded out of fear,

The Lord is near I feel.

He is near to open the last Zeal.


By Emmanuelle FD

The poet’s dream is to make,

The greatest poem of today’s age.

Where writers are hidden in their

Small heart cages in despair.

Poets want them to discover,

What poems have to offer.

They are missing something great,

That will soon remove their heart ache.

Poem shall live through ages.

No one can stop its growing stages.


Emmanuelle FD

Death prepares a trap before me

Its snares planted beneath my feet.

The enemy prowls like a roaring lion.

He lies in wait if I go down Mt. Zion.

My soul is in agony

As I see the great number of my enemies.

I called upon the Lord to save me.

He heard my cry and plea.

All my enemies were knocked down.

Some caught in the sea and drowned.

The Lord is faithful for he rescued me.

Though I am a sinner–a sinner indeed.

A Stubborn Heart

The stiffness of the neck,

A life full of regrets,

A stoned wall in mind,

A locked door at night.

The immovable mountains,

Strong wind, a hurricane,

The uncontrollable nightmare,

A never ending despair.
It is a victory of one,

To control his heart at once.

It is a lose of his hope,

To be unable to grope.

The heart is as stubborn as,

A child playing on the grass.
Firmly as you look,

Still inside you are shook.

A small organ in the center.

Who would’ve thought it can master?

So control your heart,

Don’t let it tear you apart.
Make the Lord its master.

The heart won’t falter.